Fearless Authenticity: How to Provide Maximum Value for Ultimate Impact with Jeanne Sparrow

Amy Riley: 00:00:00

My guest on this episode, Jeanne Sparrow is a seven time Emmy winning television host radio personality on v 103. Chicago, and a speaker and consultant who helps people and organizations find more success by delivering their unique authentic value through visionary leadership and inspiring speaking. And in this episode, she provides transformative insights and practical guidance to do just that. She does so in the form of three questions. She's got three questions for everything that you can easily answer for yourself and put into practice. I'm glad you're here to listen to and learn from Jeanne.

Amy Riley: 00:00:51

Welcome to the Courage of a Leader podcast. This is where you hear real life stories of top leaders achieving extraordinary results. And you get practical advice and techniques, you can immediately apply for your own success. This is where you will get inspired. And take bold, courageous action. I'm so glad you can join us. I'm your host, Amy Riley. Now, are you ready to step into the full power of your leadership and achieve the results you care about most? Let's ignite the courage of a leader.

Amy Riley: 00:01:35

Well, gee, I love how you focus on fearless authenticity. And focusing on the courage of a leader. And one of my pillars being the courage to be authentically you. I was I am immediately aligned. And I know you support and empower leaders to find success by expressing authentic value. Can you break that down a little bit Jeanne and tell us exactly what that means to you.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:02:08

So for me, a thank you, Amy, for having me on your podcast, especially to talk about the leadership part. Because a lot of times people ask me about everything, but how that relate how my work relates to leadership. And it's important to me because I feel like the best leaders are the ones that we connect with, by knowing who they are, what their mistakes have been. What because you can't know a triumph without knowing the mistake to begin with, right? Like somebody can look like a winner. But unless you know where they came from, to get to that point, it's kind of hard to assess what that win really means, right. And I think that we tap into our power, when we share the gifts that are truly ours to give. Right? So like you and I do similar things. But we each do it in our own way. And Bear is something that you bring to the trainings you do the speaking you do and all of that, that some people will will immediately be attracted to because it's you. Right, it's the way you do it. Just like the way I do something, even if it's the same thing, even when we're talking about the exact same topic, it'll still be a little bit different. I liken it to this, like we all have have to have a CPA or an accountant or somebody to help us with our taxes. Because I mean, well, I'm gonna say it for those of us who are not brave enough to do them on our own, because anybody who doesn't on their own is brave and, and deserving of all our praise. But many of us have to have somebody to do our taxes for us. We've used a bunch of different people, but we have our favorites, right you have the accountant that's like explains things to you, in the way you like to hear it breaks the bad news, if you owe the IRS money in the way you need to hear it and and outlines what you need to do to avoid an audit whatever it is that you like, here's somebody who does it the way you like it. They're doing the exact same job, but they're doing it in a way that you relate to. And I think the same thing is true for leaders.

Amy Riley: 00:04:21

Yes, yes, I'm hearing own your way of doing things, your approach leaning into your strengths. I was also hearing you say Jeanne that we want to share of ourselves like first of all, share our gifts, know what we're great at and share that with the world. But then you're also saying share our wins, but also everything that led up to our wins, which includes failures and struggles and figuring things out because we don't have those really great big wins without Some kind of journey to get there.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:05:03

Life just does not work that way. Period like you, you can't win unless you, you know, been through something to get there. I mean, even a game, right? And here's the thing, think about this. It's an awfully empty win if you didn't have to work for it. Right. But the lesson is in the work, it's not in the win. Yeah. I mean, I do think, though, that it takes courage to talk about that, though. Because I do think that, especially in American culture, we've we do focus on the win, right. But if you think about, like, think about all of the underdog stories that we love, the people that you know, the same people that in pop culture will be criticizing, or what have you, when they're on top, the minute they fall down. They may talk about him for a minute when they're down, but then they're rooting for them to come back. Yes, no, we love a comeback story. And I think that's very human. I think that we love to hear about those challenges, because we know what they are, we might not have the exact same challenges. But we've all faced them. And sometimes we failed in you know, in pursuit of what it is our what we think we want at the end of it. And I think that the people that most of us follow, that anybody follows. Part of it has to do not just with the wind, but how the wind happened.

Amy Riley: 00:06:40

Yes, yes. So I know that we find those stories, empowering and inspiring, right? When we hear like, Oh, here's all the ups and downs that it took to get here. How but it can be a human characteristic, to resist sharing the downs, sharing what we struggled with, especially if the next win is not there yet. How do you encourage leaders to be fearlessly authentic and be vulnerable, and share where they're at? Well,

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:07:23

you know, what, I think, you know, there is a balance to all of our authenticity, right? I think first is knowing it. Okay, because a lot of times, we can't face the reality of our journey, right? There are a lot of things people don't want to talk about. They don't want to remember the hard times because they're too hard to remember, right. And I do think that there is some balance in what you share, when you share it. Think about it this way. You speak to your grandmother, or your parents, your elderly parents very differently than you do your girlfriends. Or when or for people who play sports use, you talk a whole lot of different stuff on us on a on a basketball court, or when you're playing touch football on a weekend or you know, 16 inch softball in Chicago, in the summertime, you may talk very differently with that group of friends can you do with your work friends? Person any less authentic? No, it's just about what fits a different situation. And I think when it comes to leadership, the same thing is true that, especially when you're talking about perhaps your team at work, understanding what your team needs from you. I am what advances that it's not about laying your whole life bear, it's about bringing your experience to them. Right. And also being very clear about what your experience actually is and what your value is. Because I think that because one of the things that I always try to tease out with my clients is where does your value lie? What and it's going to change depending on who it is you're talking to. Right, right. Yeah, I think we all have kind of like this headline, mission statement, this headline, thing of who we are, what we look for, what what we're looking to do for other people. But we're not going to do that the same with everybody. It just doesn't work that way. And at least it doesn't in my experience work well, that way, you know, may have the same outcome that you're going for, for people that may they may have in common. But each individual and each team, like even a team has its own personality. Yeah, just the audience has a personality and things like that. And so, for me, it's about knowing in your heart, all the things that make you up and the value that that brings to a situation mission. So all of your identities, all of your experiences, education, and everything you've been through to this point in your life informs what value you bring to people. So while as a black woman who lives in Chicago, I have a particular experience, right, but I'm also a black woman who grew up in Louisiana. And I, you know, I have a, I have a grandfather who had a grandfather who owned a farm, so I had a little bit of farm life. So, you know, there have been clients, where that has actually been relevant. Oh, you know, and I bring that to them, that may not be relevant for a client that's in a major urban area, you know, what I'm saying it might be, but what it is, is, I know, all the things that because like, sometimes being black, or being a woman might not be relevant to the situation. But if it is, that's what I'm bringing. And I know all of those things that I tap into, that I share, just like their, you know, whether your experience is having, you know, maybe you have a special needs child, maybe you're an immigrant or you come from immigrant parents, maybe maybe someone is gay, or someone you know, recently lost a spouse, or has been a caregiver, you know, I've had that experience. So it's like those things make up who we are. And they also inform how we lead and how we connect with other people. And it's just about being curious enough about the other person, and also anticipating and understanding who it is you're talking to, and what it is you need them to do and what you need them to understand to be able to do the thing that you want them to do.

Amy Riley: 00:11:48

Jean, you just said so many good things. I want to underscore a few of them. So I was hearing along the way. We need to be clear with ourselves, yes, what's working, what's not working? You know what? So this is a downvote? Down moment, right? Being willing to be honest with ourselves about that. And then I'm hearing it's, you know, it's not vulnerability for vulnerability sake, like, I'm just going to show up and tell you like all the trauma by childhood for no apparent reason. But knowing your audience, knowing who you're with, and being able to see what's the value, what's the connection I can make here, and being willing to share different sides of yourself in that moment. But you got to have that curiosity about who these people are, where they're at, what do they need? How can I provide that value? In this moment?

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:12:52

It's all about service? Absolutely. You know, I'll give you a good example. When I was in television. We, you know, you have all these months of the year, right? Awareness Month, definitely. Yeah. And while I was working, at the time I was working, autism awareness was growing, right. And our audience was primarily women, a lot of mothers. And so we decided to do a series of things for we were talking about doing a series of things for Autism Awareness Month. And one of our producers has two children on the spectrum. And but we didn't know that. At the time, at least I don't, I didn't know it. But we were in a meeting talking about what we would do, or how we would cover something for Autism Awareness Month, we've had a couple pitches from some PR people, and we were talking over it. And at one point in the meeting, she goes, Okay, you guys, listen, I think we're going about this all wrong. And here's why. And she talked out the story. And she said, and we were all listening to relate, okay, where this perspective comes from. She was like, so just so you know, my, my children are on the spectrum. And I've gone through this. And, and I know, I wasn't the only one who didn't know, because I was like, well, well, why didn't you say something before we sat here was the thing. Right? She not said something. We ran the risk, the very real risk of not serving anybody with the information that we had, because it wouldn't have been relevant or maybe even sensitive to what they would be facing. Mm hmm. She brought her experience, you know, by disclosing, you know, and granted, I'm sure she had a thing of, oh, do I even disclose because these are my children. They're there. They were teenagers at the time. She was like, do I make this disclosure now, but for her, it was about talking about her experience as a parent, finding a diagnosis, making sure they have the services they needed in school and that sort of thing. And it ended up being this this wonderful moment where she shared something from her personal life that directly impacted her not Only how she did her job, but by how all of us did our job.

Amy Riley: 00:15:06

So you could serve your watching audience, the best way.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:15:10

And she certainly if you think about it in layers of audience, if you want to call it audience or people, she served us as her as her co workers and colleagues and even her boss, because our executive producer was like, didn't know. You know, and, and so it's so that's one, you know, one person she served is that she also served her the team that she works with, and then the larger audience that we had, but even if you just keep it internally, to those of us who were present in the room in the planning, like the audience never knows where that came from. But it didn't matter what she did. And what she said, Now, what happens when you don't do that?

Amy Riley: 00:15:55

Well, yeah, then then you sit there, and you might see a piece that's like, oh, this, this might land wrong with the parent, or this might not be as powerful as it could be with my like,

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:16:06

and that, to me, is the courage that it takes to be it because it does take because that's a moment of felt real vulnerability. She's talking about her kids, right. And not knowing how that may, may turn out. But I'd later told her, I was so grateful that she did it because it made all of our work better, not just her work, but all of our work. And so think about those moments, those things, those experiences that you have, and I've even had it happen with clients, there was a woman in a leadership program that I did for a client. And she was like, I think her hers, her superiors saw her as somebody who was influential in her sphere, in the department she was working in, but she didn't necessarily see it, she wanted to do more, but she didn't see it. And one of the things that one of the experiences that she had was because she was she was an immigrant. And English was not her first language, even though I thought her English was great, because it wasn't her first language. And she was an adult learner. She had some, you know, hesitant about speaking up and speaking out. But here's the thing. She, as an immigrant understood, the vast majority of of a group of their clients for this organization, were English people who spoke English as a second language. And so it's like, she told a story one time in our training where she was like, Well, you know, this happened the other day. And I decided to say something, because I knew that the person they were speaking to didn't understand what they were saying, because of how you understand my, our, our native tongue. And, you know, and how, what, what they're going to assume when you say something in that way. And so she gave her colleague, a way of speaking to their group of clients in a way that was going to serve them. She wasn't directly, you know, involved in it. But she heard and she was like, oh, that's what a leader does. Take those moments and go, how, how can I make this better? And what do I know, when you see something, you know, good went into play, and you're bringing that personal thing? And it was hard for her because, you know, she was she was like, oh, you know, I've been that person before. But she did it.

Amy Riley: 00:18:22

To beautiful it was in service of something. Always there's something I can offer. Right? And here's why I can offer it. And now I'm sharing this thing about myself.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:18:33

And now you got a key. You're giving people a key to things that you know, it's almost like breaking a code, right? You're helping people break the code, you're giving them a hack. Yeah, I know. People love hacks. I'm not I'm not a big fan of hacks. I mean, I am but I'm not. It. I don't like the sound of key. I like the sound of tackle. Yeah, I don't like the sound of hack. But I love the sound of key. But it's like, you know, you can struggle with something, you can figure out how to pick that lock eventually. But if somebody just walks up the hands you the key, because of something they know that you couldn't possibly know, you just did a mitzvah, you just did something that made everybody's life better by bringing your personal experience and understanding the value of that. Yeah, to something and it's about knowing when it's relevant. And it's also about knowing when it is in service of something higher and greater than.

Amy Riley: 00:19:26

Yep, yeah. And I love that that can be the decision point. Right, the question that we ask ourselves in the moment, all right, Jeanne, I want to tell listeners more about you. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I know we got so into the conversation. Jeanne is a seven time Emmy winning television host radio personality on v 103. Chicago police Saturday 6am to noon, and host of our own podcast fearless authenticity. Jeanne serves as a graduate faculty and structure excuse me instructor in communication Jen at Northwestern University, and is an award winning speaker and consultant who helps people and organizations find more success by delivering their unique authentic value through visionary leadership, and inspiring speaking. I'm so glad you're here today to talk about all of that Jeanne. Thank you. Yeah. Now I know, expressing our authentic value, it's about knowing who we are, knowing the value that we provide, seeing the value we can provide in different moments with different groups of people. You also talk about expressing authentic value with solid communication skills. What are the most important communication skills? What do you mean by solid communication skills? Jeanne?

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:20:53

Listening? Ah,

Amy Riley: 00:20:55

beautiful.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:20:57

It's so simple and yet.

Amy Riley: 00:21:00

Yeah, I,

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:21:02

I think that we often think we are a we take communication for granted. Like, it's so sexy word and, and I, I always hesitate to use it because it simplifies. They'd be like, oh, yeah, communication. Whenever do

Amy Riley: 00:21:17

that all the time. I've got that.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:21:19

Yeah, exactly. And we've been doing it since the day we were born. You know, quite literally, we are all communication experts. If we put some intention into it, we, all of us, all of us have messed up an argument, you know, with someone we love. All of us have, you know, not said what we wanted to say when we wanted to say it, or worse, not said something in a way that it would be heard. Or we think later about what would have been better to say, I think we've all had those moments, right? It all comes down to I think, in my experience, listening, understanding who it is, and I've already kind of hit on this when it comes to leadership in my examples, but it is about understanding who you're talking to, and actually hearing what it is they need. I always use this example in my trainings, because everybody's been through because just about every adult I know has been in love at some point in time. So somebody you really love, and you've been really angry with them. And you've been in an argument. And I always say, you get yourself all ready for that argument. You got your arguments all put in, you got your list, some people even writing out but they go I want to say and then but tell him this. And then

Amy Riley: 00:22:38

and then he even goes there.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:22:41

There. This is what I'm gonna hit him with this, the problem with that, and I think men do it too. I'm not going to just say it's, you know, a gendered thing necessarily. But, but being a woman I know, because I've done that, right. And I know men who've been on that side of it. And they go, yeah, yeah, whatever. But the reality is, is that a lot of times when we are talking, we are talking to respond, not to actually hear what's happening in the moment. And if you sit and listen, and not listen to respond, but actually listen, to be able to go to take it in as an experience and say, Okay, I'm going to listen. And then I'm going to process and then I'm going to reply and respond in that way, as opposed to this pre, you know, pre scripted version that's in our head. And I actually think that no matter what we're doing, we have this script in our head. And I'm not saying you shouldn't know what you want to talk about. I'm never saying that you shouldn't, because you should know what you bring to that moment, you should know, the highlights of the things you want to talk about, as my mama would say, have that in your back pocket, be able to go back to that. But always be responsive. And what it is you're saying, you know, always be in that moment with another person, because that moment doesn't happen again. Never does. And it doesn't matter if it's work or personal. It never happens again. That way, you may get another chance, but it's gonna go differently. And and so when you're able to have these things that you want to say, but also realize that this dialogue is a once in a lifetime moment. And we only get this one chance to do it this way. This time. You treat it with a whole lot more respect. You treat it with a lot more reverence. And you and hopefully you're able to rise to the occasion, if that's what it takes, right? It may just be you know, an everyday thing, but how many things have you missed like Think about with your kids. You know, how many things have you missed, where you have to go back and go, Hey, listen, a little something, and Mama might have missed that thing. Yeah, and now, you know, you kind of got to draw it out of them, right? Because you missed them. That moment, that moment, but the moment is not lost, I don't want people to feel like it's the end of the world, we always get another chance. It's just it's a different chance, you don't get to do that conversation over again, you get to say what it is, you should have said in that other moment, and hope that it serves the current moment. But when we talk about leadership, we are just I am a big one. I think I've said this word enough already that I think you know, one of my key words is service, we are doing things, I believe that knowing ourselves, knowing our gifts, knowing why we're here is also what we were put on this earth to do. That's the reason why I think fearless authenticity is so important when you know yourself and know what you're here to do. If you get in flow, as you know, some of my more energetic folks might say, but you, you're able to just move with ease through things. But if you know what your gift is, it becomes much easier to express it. Right? And knowing what you're there for. Right? Okay, this is the thing I do. Yes. And so this is what I somehow am supposed to contribute to this moment, right. And I also believe in servant leadership, I believe that when you are a leader, it is a great responsibility to not only the people on your team, or the organization that you work for, but the other tentacles that reach out from there, whatever products you produce, whatever services your companies have provides to the ultimate customer. Even if you never see that customer, that's who you're serving your serving the world, that you're putting something into the world that will help somebody hopefully serve somebody make make their lives easier, whatever it is. And if you can understand what that is, and how you can facilitate that, as a leader, I think that makes things easier. At least from my perspective, I know that there are lot of other ways of leading, but that's how I look at it. If if you because if your team is happy, if your team is functioning well. And to me, that's what happiness means. And in a work environment, if it's functioning well, if everybody's able to do the jobs that they have been tasked with doing. They have the resources they need, they have resources that they can go to for the things they don't have. And they know that that's there. Everything works.

Amy Riley: 00:27:45

Gene, every cell in my body is nodding along, I support leaders to declare their leadership legacy, which is what is the overall purpose and commitment of your leadership that you bring to every project, every interaction, every relationship. And when we're clear on that we can start to see how that plays out in different interactions. I love the framing of this is a once in a lifetime moment. I know you're saying like it's not like Game Over, you don't ever get another chance. But these are, this is precious time with human beings. You know, and then I was working with a leader the other day, and he had some tough feedback to give. And it's pretty, pretty high level of frustration with this team member as well. And he's like, when do I do this? How do I do this. And I was like when you're ready to listen. And I also wish I had had the your framing of this is a once in a lifetime moment, as well. Because that has a showing up, present and responsive. Gotta cherish this, I gotta take the best advantage of this. I just love that you're like, what are good solid communication skills listening?

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:29:07

We always think it's talking and it's not like we because any of us even the shyest of us, right can will have something to talk about to tell about themselves will have an answer to a question. But it's the exchange and that that happens between whether it's two people or one person in a group, one person and an audience, whatever it is. It's it's not just about what you have to say. It's also about what you're you're giving to people I have I have a thing that I have three questions I always tell people to ask when it comes to when they're dealing with an audience or with another person or whatever you think about three things. Who are they? What do they care about? Perhaps and perhaps a sidebar of that question is what should they care about. Okay, yeah. But the last one is, how can I serve that? If you know those three things, then you know how to approach a group or an individual. Yeah. Right. You also understand your purpose and how you transition through that, you know, am I appealing to something they care about now? Or am I appealing to something that they may not be aware of, or are not seeing that I need to show them. And often, that's what happens with leadership, right? It's like you have this employee who is, you know, challenging for whatever reason, you have to give some tough feedback. But the ultimate goal of that feedback is not just to get rid of the pain for you know, actually to help that person do their job better. It also helps the team which also helps you, which also helps the organization. It's really easy, especially because me tell you something new, but it likes getting feedback. Nobody likes to change. Nobody wants to hear a critique, when those are the things that actually life is all built on. Right? Life doesn't do anything but change every day. And we always want stuff to say the same. Like they discontinued my lipstick a man. Yes. Yeah. They do that though. Amy, if

Amy Riley: 00:31:26

that doesn't seem necessary. It really does it. Like if this color looks

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:31:29

good on me, I should always be have access to it. But okay. But you see, from the littlest micro thing, yes. The big macro like, yeah, big visionary, every single person who leads anybody is going to deal with some sort of change every single human is going because nothing stays the same. If it stays the same, then it dies. Yeah. And so that I think that perspective, because we know, we don't like to hear the feedback, right? Or we haven't gotten comfortable with it, that we it's hard for us to do that for somebody else. When in reality, it's like, you know what, we're actually doing them a favor.

Amy Riley: 00:32:09

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. If we've got that intention to help them do their job better, easier, have a better reputation with this group or something that they care about?

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:32:21

Close the sale? Like, what is that that person said, then this if you leave the sales team, get them some? Teach them how to make more money? It gets really simple. When you know what somebody cares about when you know who they are, what they care about why they're there?

Amy Riley: 00:32:39

Yes. What should I tell them? What should I do? Well, what do they want? And need? I was going to ask you one last question, Jeanne. And I think you partially answered it with your 123 questions there. I was gonna say if I'm, if I'm a people, leader, and I'm listening to this podcast episode, Jeanne, and I'm thinking, Oh, this stuff sounds great. But I haven't really been thinking and operating in this way. Like, where do I start? And I think part of that answer could be those questions you just said, like every go into an interaction, who are they? What do they care about? What could or should they care about? And how can I serve that? What else would you offer? So let's

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:33:23

take a step back to my my three core principles. Live it, tell it sell it. Alright. So those last three questions are part of sell it, because we're all selling something at some point in time. It is really crucial, though, to understand that, because that's how you close the sale of whatever it is, you're trying to sell somebody on, whether it's an idea what you're going to cook for dinner tonight, right? But the first to live, it is about you. And that's where you decide and understand and explore your value, what you bring to the table, then tell it is about how you're going to do it. And I'm a big person with story, that we can embed something into a story of any kind. It doesn't have to be this chronological, historical thing or whatever. It can be a moment in time that you share with somebody. But when there's knowledge embedded in a story, we as humans are just more likely to remember it. Theory, the proven psychological thing, it's

Amy Riley: 00:34:20

chemicals are released in the brain. Yep, exactly. That's how you

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:34:23

really get people to remember what it is you're talking about. And what's important is some sort of story. And then the last part, yes, so I would say how you get started is understanding how you walk in your value and how you show up for other people and show up for the people you're leading and get them to whatever next phase they need to be at, through what it is you know, to be true.

Amy Riley: 00:34:50

Nice. And you can just start reflecting and noticing that zooming three questions for that too.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:34:58

I believe in the power of three I guess How many laters threes, honey?

Amy Riley: 00:35:02

Okay, give us those. Real quick those

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:35:04

three questions are What work do I do, this is not your job description. This is not you know anything like that, then think about the benefits of the work that you do. And then think about why you care about it. Wow, that's a great place to start when it comes to work. Like there are other layers to what I do with that when it comes to individuals, because I don't believe that our value is just tied to our output. I believe that our value is just because we're here. There's, there's another pathway to that. But this one, I think is the easy one to do when it comes to, you know, work related workplace related stuff. Think about what you do, how it benefits other people and why you care about it.

Amy Riley: 00:35:48

Love it, Jean. Thank you. Appreciate all the guidance and great stories that you shared with

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:35:56

us. I do what I can with the team Amy.

Amy Riley: 00:35:59

It this time has flown by thank you so much, Jean for joining me on the Courage of a Leader podcast.

Jeanne Sparrow: 00:36:06

You're welcome. Thanks for having me.